Colossal Crashes...

Over Christmas we had a great time at my parents' place. And yes, snowmobiling every day was a great bonus. They actually have snow up there! So, Dad hooked up a crazy huge tube from a combine tire to the sled. We've never tried this before. I've never seen a tube that BIG. It was big enough that the donut-hole centre looked like a kiddie pool. There was a number of times I plopped right through the centre when I was on it alone or with someone else. Eric flew up and over one time and landed on me after Dad tried killing us on some snow plow drifts. Another time I did a 6 foot back to front reverse twisting dive in the pike position when Dad hit the gas over a good sized bump. There seems to be a common denominator in all of these, huh?

I think Luke and I had the best wipe-out, though. We were flying across the back of the field and came close to a bluff in the southeast corner. We slowed for the corner, and then got some speed up coming out of it. Everything seemed okay for awhile until Dad let off the gas suddenly. I guess he bumped up over a large, hardened drift due to the trees and figured it may be a little dangerous. NOTE TO THE READER: Objects in motion stay in motion (inertia) unless acted upon by an equal or greater force and mass. (Okay, that's sort of the physics of it - let's just pretend that's the right way of saying it.)The skidoo stopped. Unfortunately for us, we weren't on the skidoo.

Luke and I felt the tube tilt forward as we started sliding over the slack in the tow rope. The drift came up to greet us in a hurry, and it was rather unannounced. Here's what we think happened next. Luke and I hit the drift. That much we know. We found ourselves lying some distance from the tube in some semi-solid snow after cartwheeling through the air. The evidence from the drift helped us conclude Luke's theory that after we hit, his head impacted the drift on his first cartwheel and he then hit his head a second time after another revolution and then came to rest in the snow using the same sideways-flying motion. I, on the other hand, hit shoulder first into the packed snow, flipped forward to a spread eagle imprint on the drift, and completed a second and final flop into the slightly softened snow. Looking at the marks on the drift, it was almost comical. It looked like a bad scene out of a Roadrunner cartoon when Wiley hits a brick wall and all you see is the cracks from the impact. Hitting the snow face-first like that left me with a typical bloody nose, but nonetheless it was pretty wicked!

It was then that Dad said, "I wished we had brought the video camera out! But, who would be able to hold it steady enough to film on a skidoo?" Of course, they looked at me, and I was thinking, That would be pretty cool, but then I couldn't ride on the tube... which of course led to, "Hey! Derek would probably LOVE to go for a ride!" (Derek is our cousin who lives across the field.) After falling off a few more times, we brought the skidoo in and made the call. He came out the next day, and even cancelled going out with some of his teen-aged buddies to come with us.

Care to join us next time? It won't be scary, you'll love it! Just make sure Dad's not driving...

That's okay. He can take it. He's probably laughing right now. I still giggle when I recount it in my head. He deserves it. He won't let me live down the time I crashed the old skidoo into a poplar in our yard. It was stuck in the backyard and we were having trouble getting it out. Every time we did, I'd let go of the gas and sink right back down. "Don't let go of the throttle!" he said. Being the obedient son I was, I didn't. I missed the fact that he meant, But after you get out of the deep snow you can slack off a bit. I slid down the slope behind our house and didn't make the corner. Kerunch! I was heartbroken when I heard the sickening crunch of metal and plastic. I totally deserve the ribbing's.

Then there was the time Eric and Luke left the skidoo out in the field close to the road because there was a problem. Dad, coming home from working in the bush, parked the pickup in the driveway and went out to inspect it (was it dark?). After it started on the first pull, he assumed it was probably just flooded. He hopped on and turned toward the house, and when the skis came down... well, the boys left the skidoo out there because one of the skis was busted. We never saw what happened, but Dad came in bleeding from the head (where else?) and covered in dirt and snow. The thing did a couple of flips and bucked him off in the process. That was classic!

There was also the time we were teaching Luke how to drive the thing and he pinned the gas and wouldn't let go. Eric and Carmen got a rough ride out of that one! They were on the toboggan behind us and there was barely enough snow to cover the dirt lumps from when we cultivated that fall. Oh, and the time Aaron and Eric got launched on Epp's place going over the slough we didn't see until too late. I think that's when we learned that toboggans were on the outs and GT Snow racers were the new cool. We'd hook up two to the back and battle back and forth behind the skidoo until one knocked the other off. Usually both went flying...

Oh, the days of skidooing on the Janz' place and running out of fuel! So many memories. I even recall making a 20 ft. jump with two people on the skidoo there. It's awesome to have had such great opportunities being a farmboy growing up. I'm so privileged to have a family like I have too. I love you guys. Thanks for the memories.

- Mark