"I pulled a 'Mark'", says Dad.

"Pardon me?" I said. (There are a lot of things to consider when claiming to have 'pulled a 'Mark'').

"I pulled one of your stunts, Mark. I couldn't believe it."

Dad was mowing the lawn last week and was across the driveway from the house. A safe distance, you would assume. The ride-on clipped a rock and sent it skittering on to the driveway from beneath its table. The blades made a noticeable sound that caused my Dad to notice the rock spinning there on the driveway, and kept going. Moments later Mom comes out of the house and flags him down. He thought there must be something up because of the look on her face and the fact that she doesn't typically interrupt someone mowing the lawn.

There was a different scene back at the house. Check out our crime scene photos:



The rock had split in two, and a fragment had flown across the yard (easily 30 feet or more) through the computer room window (at least another 12 feet up) and embedded itself in the wall. Good thing no-one was standing there, right? There was glass everywhere and Mom said the noise was enough to make her jump. Who wouldn't?

How is this pulling a 'Mark'? I've had my share of broken windows, some more intentional than others (sorry Sieberts; I smashed an old windshield with batteries and rocks sadly enough), and some more bone-headed than others, like the time I had a nut on the end of a fishing rod to practice casting and on my wind-up sent it through the bathroom window behind me. There was one incident that does rival the afore mentioned blunder. I have more, so you can rest assured that I'll be telling those later.

So, I was mowing the lawn as all good children do for their parents at some time or another. Lawnmowers are loud and even though we run a Deere, it still vibrates pretty good. This day was like any other day on the lawn tractor. Once primed and warmed up, you do a few passes around the outside through the blooming caragana boughs and bees so you have room to maneuver. This was for the what we would call the 'golf course' effect (or a nicely seeded or harrowed field; we farmers are particular). The passes back and forth added a sense of style and class to the links, especially when viewed by passing aircraft far above. We would often hit a few balls across the driveway or onto the far end of the lawn. As one of my brothers put it, "I garfed my garf ball into the field!"

I was only a few feet from the house and was making the final few passes on the front lawn when there's someone standing on the front step with 'that' look on their face. You know who I'm talking about. And I looked beside her, and I SAW it! From our golf-green lawn I saw a golf ball-sized hole staring back at me in the tall window next to our front door! I couldn't believe my eyes! Apparently the ball had made its way upstairs, hit the laundry room door, and came to rest in the middle of the hallway in perfect position to putt down to the end on the green carpet laid before it. Talk about shock on all of our faces! We were much more careful about finding our golf balls from then on...

I have thrown a baseball through a friend's window before (Jared should've caught it) and also needed surgery to remove a shard from my forefinger after cleaning my room and bleeding all over my guitar for a summer. My most recent 'Mark' experience involving glass was a 2+2=4 moment. Some youth group kids and I were having a water fight with balloons and got creative. Two vehicles traveling in opposite directions hurling water balloons at one another in a jousting fashion. We were only going 60 km/hr. And so was the other vehicle. We only got sprayed on the first few passes. The show stopper was when a 3lb. balloon traveling upwards of 120 km/hr. cratered the windshield of the truck I was in spraying glass all over myself and the driver. It sank in about 3 inches or so in a perfectly circular shape. The cops were surprised. We didn't try that again.

- Mark