Aslynn Makes a Break for It

One Sunday, Micah and Aslynn went up to the front of the church for a Children's feature. Before going up, I advised Micah to hold Aslynn's hand. For one, holding Aslynn's hand gives Micah a sense of security and a reason to be brave. Secondly, Micah is so tough that for Aslynn, resistance is futile.

Well, Micah and Aslynn waltzed up the aisle, listened to the token children's feature (I've only ever seen them do the one), and Micah ran back to greet us enthusiastically because it was time for Children's Church, which he really enjoys. I met him halfway and asked the question any sane parent must ask themselves: “Where's Aslynn?”

Micah looked down at his own hand, devoid of the devious darling, looks over his shoulder with a concerned look on his face, and says, “Oh no! Where did she go?!” He stole the words right out of my mouth. The whole looking down at his hand thing made me laugh, but I knew this was not just a simple case of catch and release, so I took hold of his vacant hand and marched up to the front.

Aslynn wasn't there anymore, and she hadn't run up the aisle the other way. You can't see her head above the pews because she's so short, so you have to actually have line of sight down each one to know for sure. After a while, you get used to ignoring strangers giving you the 'what-are-you-doing-you-idiot' look as you walk across the front of the stage. I deduced that she must have been a part of the wave of children exiting into the foyer up the far walkway, so we followed them out, glancing the opposite way down the hall just to be certain she hadn't made for the door, and went to the stairwell. Sure enough, nearing the top of the stairs was Aslynn. Stairs always slow her down, at least temporarily. Her legs are still only long enough to conquer one step at a time.

I caught up to her before she took off again and safety-pinned her name tag to the back of her dress where two-year-old limbs can't reach. That is, of course, unless she convinces an unwittingly brilliant two-year-old accomplice to do so. GPS or a locator device would be more beneficial than a name tag.

I'm sure you think I'm a little crazy to have looked so far and wide for her, presuming she would be up to no good. Then I digress to what happened the week prior. Case and point...

She was in Children's Church, and a little girl told the teacher she had to use the ladies room, in two-year-old terms, of course. Aslynn hears this and repeats what she just heard. A brilliant plan is hatched in her two-year-old brain. Once inside the washroom, the teacher proceeds to dress down and seat the first little girl on the toilet. She turns to talk to Aslynn, who of course is – gone. The teacher glances in she next stall, by the sinks, then down the hall. No Aslynn. Panic is now setting in. She clothes the girl on the toilet and quickly returns her to the classroom so as not to have two AWOL two-year-olds.

By this time, Aslynn has turned the corner, negotiated the stairs, cleared the foyer, and is now proceeding down the main aisle into the church after charming an usher or two into opening the doors. She must have just missed Faith taking Judah to the nursery. I am in the sanctuary, no where near the centre aisles. A friend of ours recognizes her wandering up and down, graciously takes her by the hand, leads her out the doors, through the foyer, and through the appropriate door to find me.

“I didn't have any bathrooms,” admits the two-year-old fugitive to a father who does not comprehend the context. I walked straight back out, Aslynn in tow, to find Faith returning from the nursery. After we stared at each other for a moment of dumbfounded silence, Faith walked Aslynn back upstairs to find her frantic teacher who regales her with a daring tale of escape and espionage. I think that says enough, doesn't it?